fabulousogy

i bought the tomato basil plant i promised myself to get and i don't know if i can eat the leaves yet or not. random, but i just read my last post and talked about making tomato basil sauce. maybe that will be tonight's dinner :)

friday i am going to las cruces to see tomas for like 15 hours then coming back to hopefully catch a bit of this wedding i was supposed to attend. next week is my birthdayyy woo hoo! i am going to tucson with my friends and it's going to be so much fun. one of my friend's mom is opening an art gallery in phoenix so i get to go there too. i need to start saving up money for some b-day shopping.

work is over in 1hr and 10 minutes and i am running out of websites to look at. maybe some more recipe sites. i am obsessed with cooking. last night i made stir fry and it was very tasty!

last night was fun. i went to a party and it was chill. i wasn't going to drink, but i did (how can you not if it's free in front of you?). i need to stop late night eating. i ate mcdonalds last night and immediately regretted it.  how am i supposed to lose weight if i drink alcohol and eat fast food/junk food; it completely counteracts the 2 1/2 miles i ran and the healthy breakfast/lunch/and dinner i prepared for myself. Self restriction must ensue...

Current Mood:

anxious

i was reading up on some delicious recipes that i want to try out such as: parmesan chicken & tomato basil sauce.
i think i am going to invest in buying a basil leave plant since many recipes call for basil, yet it is quite expensive in stores. 

tonight i am going to a baseball game with my bf and some friends. it should be fun! i have class before it and i really want to go work out, but i doubt there will be any time. maybe i'll go afterward. i could probably leave work right now since there are like 5 people here, (mind you it's 4th of july week so people bounced last week to go do their shit) but unfortunately my boss kisses coroporate ass, actually wipes and kisses, and will never let us leave early. if i got to leave now i could: go to the gym, come home and get ready, go to school, pre-game, and have some fun! but noooo we have to be good employees. why though? did anyone ever think of that? the lady at work that i think hits on me has been weird with me lately. i am really starting to think it was her that was following me. f'in creepy!

i am constantly evolving and am coming to terms with different things in my life. i've come to terms that i cannot hate my father for being "gone" for three years, i cannot please everyone, i am smarter than i think i am, and some friends really aren't/never were your friends.  i ate with my dad for father's day and he was genuinely happy to see my sis and i. we ate sushi, joked, and all the likes. i realized how much i miss him and that whatever happened in the past doesn't matter. i should call him here soon. 

i simply give up on pleasing everyone. it may sound selfish, but sometimes you must stand your ground in order to be respected. there is some quote i vaguely remember that states "if someone shows you no respect, don't waste your time showing any to them".  i wish i could be nice and peppy all the time, but i would rather be respectul and nice to those who deserve it. that doesn't mean i won't be nice to strangers cause im usually legit with them.
why be friends with somebody who genuinely does not give a damn about you? i've had a what i thought was a best friend for a considerably long time. although he lives in another city i thought we were really close. it seems as though he enjoys doing things that he thinks will make me jealous, sad, or upset. they are such little kid immature things that i simply cannot fathom why one would act in such a malicious manner.  i can't remember what i ever did to him. he knows nothing about me anymore and i don't care to know anything about him. as far as i am concerned he is all about: beer, frat life, alcohol, getting drunk, bragging, being cool, and anything else that i simply do not comply with. okay i get drunk, but my life isn't revolved around planning drunk socials. i tried explaining to him that i have changed and that he really doesn't understand, but he takes everything so personally. i am always honest with him and this upsets him. i need to keep my distance from him. he only hurts me. you really aren't a friend of mine.

i hate to say it and i never thought i would, but my boyfriend has become my best friend. we fight, argue, demean, and yell at each other till the cows come home, but he is the only one i truly trust. he is the only one who truly cares. i love my friend's sophie and kiani. i have completely different connections with them, but i they are the only friends who really have stuck with me. i know they will be there always. things change in a matter of years. if my life took a different course, i probably wouldn't be the same.

enough with the emo bs! i leave work in 1 hour and 53 minutes. fuck yeah!

sincerely.

Current Location:	work
Current Mood:	good
Current Music:	none :(

i am at work now and it's hella boring! my boss accused me of being really late. too bad i was actually 20 minutes early. prick! only 4 more hours to go! 

i think my americanapparel bathing suit came, which is good because i think me and some friends are going to the lake tomorrow. It's scary to hear of people drowning in recreational lakes; i always hope i am not one of them. i also worry about the drive up to lakes because plenty of people die driving in the middle of nowhere (as well as in cities, but you get what im saying, right?) by getting in crazy accidents. i don't know--this is the shit i worry about people! i can't even drive up to the lake, which is an hour away, without being paranoid about stupid crap.

so i think this lady from work is stalking me. i told her where i lived (just the major cross streets not in details) and i saw her driving towards my apt. the other day. she was in front of me and then saw me and sped up REALLY fast. creep ass. sometimes i wonder if she is being nice to me or trying to hit on me. it fuckin creeps me out (mind you she is a transexual, but i usually give her advice on being a woman, not flirt with the bitch). i think i give mixed signals to pepole. this creepy old man in my bio class asked me to coffee with him the other day. not to toot my own horn but im pretty damn good looking and i wonder how a creepy 50 year old man with a porn movie moustache feels he has a chance with me. i am too nice i think. being nice gets me into creepy incidnets (i.e. a violent, deviant, ADHD boy pretended i was his girlfiend and told everyone--mind you this was last year not in elementary school).

anyway, so today is friday and i wanna drink tonight! actually what i would really like to do is go home, go to the gym, lay out by the pool, come in and take a shower, and watch movies/trashy tv all night by myself. the older i get, the more i am more uncomfortable in social situations and the more comfortable i am alone. antisocial personality disorer? probably not, but still i used to thrive in social situations...now i feel kind of awkward. maybe im not or maybe im an old woman at heart who loves her cat, reading, and watching celebrity tv trash (and the occasional CSPAN, CNN, National Geo., and Discovery Health to keep up on important things). whatever.

well i better get back to "work" and by work i mean surfing the internet.

Current Mood:	bored
Current Music:	trashy radio. fcuk.